Happy November to all my fabulous Dragon Friends. Welcome to my introductory Befriending Dragons newsletter!
Money Un-Tabooed Podcast – Financial Impact of Harassment
Happy November to all my fabulous Dragon Friends. Welcome to my introductory Befriending Dragons newsletter!
Money Un-Tabooed Podcast – Financial Impact of Harassment
Last week @VeniKunche tweeted asking for “remote work” tips for managers. I immediately replied with a whole string of tips that reduce bias. Veni said, hey, blog that. And I thought, sure, that’s easy. And yet here it is, days later, and I hadn’t written much more than a paragraph until I accepted Amy Cuddy’s invite to Quarantine Writing Hour. I can literally feel the anxiety sitting in my chest, aching. Folks, this is what it’s like to work during a crisis, personal or global. It’s not because I’m remote, it’s not because no one is watching over my shoulder with an eye to punish lowered productivity. It’s because we’re stressed, we’re worried about family and friends and the future of the world, we are fidgety, we miss our community, we are overwhelmed. Luckily I’m not feeling sick, but many are and without sufficient testing we don’t know who actually has COVID-19.
Some of us have done remote work for a while, some are completely new to the experience. As the need to maintain “social distance” grows with the spread of COVID-19 there are fountains of advice on the practical aspects of how to work remotely. But what about the social justice and leadership aspects? How do we keep bias and bullying from creeping into every aspect of working remotely? How does this impact various folks differently? How do we take advantage of this social disruption to drive positive changes into our workplace, changes that could linger long after the novel Coronavirus is under control?
The reasons it took me so long to write this story are the same reasons we can’t expect high productivity out of people working from home right now. It’s not the working from home part. It’s the stress of working in an unfamiliar environment, underprepared, while we’re worried about everything. Many folks have unfamiliar, inadequate equipment in a home where they may also be caregivers for other stressed out folks. There may not be enough devices, internet bandwidth, or “included” data for everyone to work and learn at once. We may not have physical or emotional safety.
“You can be rich in spirit, kindness, love and all those things that you can’t put a dollar sign on.” — Dolly Parton
Change causes stress. Even when we’re able to use stress to push us forward, it can still negatively impact our lives. So prioritize kindness over niceness and politeness.
Center the folks most marginalized on your team, and do all you can to uplift them even if means making other folks uncomfortable when you point out bias. Don’t tolerate COVID-19 jokes, insensitive comments that trivialize the danger to the most marginalized, or point blame at Asian people. Practice now how you will reply to anyone making ableist, racist, or sexist comments.
“The defining question is whether the discrimination is creating equity or inequity. If discrimination is creating equity, then it is antiracist. If discrimination is creating inequity, then it is racist.” — Ibram X. Kendi, How to Be an Antiracist
Well, women and people of color are much more likely to be caregiving than white men are, and that takes time and energy. We’re crowded into unfamiliar situations where we have to navigate all sorts of family dynamics that we’re not used to, and typically that will fall mostly to one person, using up their already limited energy. As somebody living alone with my cats, I’m also going through this chaos because I’m fielding calls and messages from friends and family with problems they need help with, things I may or may not be able to help them with. I get really stressed when I can’t help people who need me! I’m constantly bombarded with news snippets and feeling compelled to dig deeper, because my curiosity is always in the forefront of my actions and there’s so much new, vital, literally life or death information ALL THE TIME. That makes us less productive – don’t penalize that right now!
Women, especially BIPOC, are more likely to be cooped up for days on end with an abuser, to have lower savings (hey, pay gap!), to be expected to deal with everyone else’s stress, to rely on a community that is now less available, and all those other inequities we’ve been talking about and doing so little to actual address.
When we’re stressed or short on time we fall back on deeply embedded patterns, and that means we rely more on stereotypes and bias. We have to be very intentional to pay attention to this and compensate for the bias that will ALWAYS creep in.
I’m going to make this ultra-simple on myself, I’m going to paste below my replies to Veni’s tweet. I welcome comments and questions.
Cindy Gross (she/her) #BefriendingDragons@CindyGross This is for university professors but it could be adapted to workplaces. Be flexible, lower expectations (folks are scared, sick, overwhelmed, facing change), put family and health 1st, things will get messed up – expect it and don’t punish it, be kind. https://anygoodthing.com/2020/03/12/please-do-a-bad-job-of-putting-your-courses-online/
Some of your employees are going to spend a whole lot of time in enforced close proximity to their abuser. Some are the abuser, perhaps triggered by stress and frustration. Be kind.
Not everyone has enough bandwidth, may face a datacap. They may not have great, fast devices at home, may have to share one pc. They may have many folks in the house streaming classes, meetings, large files. Keep your emails and optional files simple & small.
Folks react differently to isolation. Offer but don’t force virtual coffees, open “water cooler” zoom calls where people can come & go, gracious space questions for folks to reflect on how they are creating success in chaos with a focus on finding the ways they are doing great.
Put on your anti-bias hat. Don’t over-reward the folks who over deliver during this time. They will be disproportionately white men because that’s how our white patriarchy is set up. Statistically men have more flexible schedules & fewer child/elder care duties.
All sorts of biases will be exaggerated as everyone is under pressure, managers have to be extra careful to be great allies. Ppl who aren’t white may not always code switch at home the way they do at work. You may see more of their authentic self – reward this, don’t punish it.
Remember at review/reward/promo time that this virus has disrupted the year. Highlight & reward folks who build strong relationships, strong containers, strong stakeholder outreach. A lot of “soft skills” that ppl who aren’t white men have to develop to survive can be showcased.
Change is everywhere right now, fill the cracks with anti-bias. This is hard work, but may actually be easier since disruption is already on full swing. Rebuild with anti-bullying and anti-bias.
Managers, now is the time to bring in folks like Veni or me or any of the myriad of anti-bias, pro-belonging, pro-DEI folks to take hold of this disruption in work life and come out the other side stronger. #BefriendingDragons
And some tweets from other threads
Be kind. Center the most marginalized over the most powerful. Be anti-bullying, anti-harassment, anti-racist, & anti-sexist.
Going forward, allow more folks to work from home regularly without penalty. This disproportionately helps folks with disabilities and those who are caregivers. It builds trust and refocuses everyone on the work. It’s good business, good for your employees, and good for the environment.
Pledge to really work hard to address the bias head-on in your next round of reviews and/or rewards. Don’t reward productivity in and of itself. Reward those who help others through this, who build and nurture relationships, who reduce other people’s stress and tension. Those people are the true leaders.
Want receipts on these bias factors? Search on terms like:
Check out my Befriending Dragons reading list if you want to dig deeper.
Be kind, lean into checking your biases, and reflect on how to thrive during this stressful time.
In the mornings I search my closet to find the perfect outfit that shows I’m technical enough, I’m smart enough, I fit in. One day I wear a skirt, and my manager can’t seem to process it, I have gone outside his expectations. He flips to the script of “this is a woman, not a skilled computer expert who knows more about her area of expertise than almost anyone else in the world.” He can’t hold “woman” and “good at technical stuff” in his brain at the same time. His obviously confused comments about how nice I look deflate me all day, and that’s the last time I wear a skirt to work. Another day my manager comments that it’s great that I’ve brought some women candidates to interview for the open position on our team, but that we won’t lower the bar for them. As if the bar isn’t already shaped like a white man, with false proxies that exclude so many qualified people. When he finds out a coworker made disgusting, sexually explicit comments to me I overhear him say to a coworker that the bully can’t be blamed since he thought I had picked up the coworker I was walking with in a nearby bar. I move to a team that rarely interacts with customers, a team where I have no chance of encountering my old teammates. They have much more of an casual clothing vibe. When I wear my existing wardrobe, clothes from boutique stores, I get puzzled comments asking where am I going after work, is it someplace fancy? One of the few other women on the team comes over to tell me she’s glad I continue to dress up because it makes her feel less out of place when she wears similar clothes. What I think is “Why can’t I ever get it, ME, right?” Why can’t I fit in? Why are my dragon scales always too shiny or not shiny enough? Why is my roar always silenced? When did I lose my voice, when did I start spending so much emotional energy to walk a fine line between likable and competent? When did I give in to the bullies?
It was years before I realized my path to belonging & success became very narrow when I reported the worst bully, a sexual harasser, to my manager. The manager talked me out of reporting to HR. He encouraged me to silence myself, to keep quiet, all to keep my chance at a promotion. What I heard is that my voice doesn’t matter, or even worse my voice is destructive to my career. I didn’t realize then that my chance at a promotion was gone the moment I spoke up about the harasser, the bully, even in the privacy of one sympathetic person’s office. It was clear the so-called “brilliant jerk” who harassed me was just too valuable to the team, and I was not valuable enough. Instead of insisting I was as valuable, actually even more valuable because I wasn’t a bully, I took my dragon roar and internalized it as a silent scream. I looked around at the sea of men I worked with and saw what others thought tech looked like – not me. I tried to muffle my inner shrieks and focus on creating success by changing myself, ignoring my own brilliance and aptitude for the job. I just knew if I could make myself even more “one of the guys,” if I could suppress the “bad” aspects of my femininity, I could “win.” I could manage my way out of this by tightly controlling everything – myself, my voice, my manager, my coworkers, how much of myself I shared with my boyfriend. Only I couldn’t. I didn’t. The more I silenced myself, the more I changed my dragon roar into a silent scream, the more I lost myself.
I imagined myself as a solitary dragon, alone in my safe cave. As long as I kept people at a distance I could survive. I never even considered that I deserved to thrive instead. I nursed my internal wounds, mostly by minimizing and ignoring them. I imagined my loneliness as peaceful solitude. I hoarded my energy, my thoughts, my feelings. I told myself I was in control, I was exercising my power. I shape-shifted into a shadow of myself, a caricature. I closed all the gates around me to keep the bad things away, ignoring that I also kept the good things away. Like so many trauma victims, I internalized the bully’s actions as partially my own fault. I thought I could, must, change myself to avoid future bullies.
But that’s not the way the world works. Instead of looking at myself as a scary dragon, I can choose to see myself as a free agent in the world, a friendly dragon who can fly where I want, when I want, how I want. I know there’s the reality of the white patriarchy, a system that builds success bars shaped like a narrow subset of cishet white men. Because of my own privileges as a white-presenting woman with one parent who graduated from college, because of the perseverance and grit and pure luck that let me slide through the edges of the white patriarchy and accumulate some wealth, I have the freedom to put myself in another part of the world, a part where I can thrive. My dragon scales are just fine the way they are, and I choose how much, what kind of, light to shine on them, on myself. I can befriend this bully culture dragon, I can stop internalizing it and stop trying to fix myself. I can make my experience a friendly dragon. That jerk who bullied me, who was found guilty of sexually harassing me when I finally reported him to HR, doesn’t define me. I don’t have to change myself, I don’t have to become invisible and silent to people like him and the people who excuse his behavior. He behaved very badly, he committed verbal violence. The system at work tried to find the balance of action so that neither of us would sue or speak out too much. But they misjudged. I did speak out. I reclaimed my voice. I started to speak out about my experience, at first quietly in small groups. Then from a stage. Then directly to my new team. Then loudly for the world to hear. I left Microsoft without signing their confidentiality agreement, without letting them steal my voice once again in return for a few month’s pay.
I reclaimed my roar and ended my internal screaming. I befriended that dragon. I reclaimed my voice and my feminine side. I belong because I decide what that means for me. I choose to step away from patriarchy, the quest for perfection, whiteness, hierarchy, and conformity. I choose thrival, self-care, and relationship-based work.
I see myself as a beautiful, free, contradictory, powerful, wise, and confident dragon with a loud roar. I am ready to take on the world, to speak truth to power. I create my own path. I journey with women, we reclaim our voices, we move on to new, bigger lives after a bully tries to make us small. We nurture new paths, new cultures, new open gates where we can be ourselves, create success, and generate a sense of belonging in our cultures. We ROAR!
I have so many thoughts and ideas about where my passion will lead me next. I haven’t yet settled on any one thing for a new career, so I went back to the basics. Listen. Listen to my community. I envision my community as marginalized people in tech. So I have started a meetup group where we can get together and talk. Where we can listen to each other. Where we help each other. Join me and let’s go on this journey to our futures together.
A gathering place for people forging new paths after harassment at work.
This is a safe space – no hate speech, bullying, harassment, or discrimination is tolerated. We value input from a variety of identities and will center the views, needs, and decisions of those who are not cishet white men.
I’m a 50 year old white woman leaving the tech world. As I talk about the harassment, bullying, and discrimination I’ve faced over the years other women open up about their own experiences. So many of us have no place to talk to others with the same experiences. Let’s share our stories, our growth, our pain and joy. This is a place to talk about surviving and thriving, about careers, family, friends, life, work, play, and about disrupting the white patriarchy to nurture a new way of doing things.
Today is my last official day at Microsoft.
I no longer feel safe, comfortable, or valued working in tech. Going forward I’ll be working to actively disrupt tech culture and systems to reduce harassment and discrimination. Keep an eye on #Words4Justice. 😊
Presented at SQL Saturday Oregon on October 24, 2015
We’re good people. As good people we don’t want to think we do things that have negative consequences for others. But sometimes our subconscious can fool us. What we intend isn’t always what happens. We think we’re making a totally rational decision based on our conscious values – but subtle, unconscious bias creeps in. Yes, even for good people. For 20+ years folks at Harvard have been using something called the Implicit Association Test (IAT) to help us identify our biases.
Take this IAT on gender and career – the results may surprise you: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/user/agg/blindspot/tablet.htm
Watch Alan Alda take the test, it will give you a feel for how it works: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RSVz6VEybk
The human brain works with patterns and categories. It’s how we make it through the day. We are bombarded with 100s of thousands of data points every day – we can’t possibly think through each one every time. We unconsciously assign data points, including our perception of people, into buckets. Those buckets have values and characteristics assigned to them that may or may not reflect the individual person we put in that bucket.
This automatic assignment is called intuitive thinking or system 1 thinking. It’s easy and takes little effort. It serves us well and lets us take on many tasks every day. However, it also sometimes leads us down the path of thinking we’ve chosen the “best” person when we’re really hired someone who meets some set of assumptions.
Sometimes we use slow thinking, or system 2 thinking. It’s rarely a conscious decision, something just makes us take some extra time and we usually don’t even realize it. That’s when we stop to question what we’re doing – maybe we adjust which categories we put someone in or we adjust the category or the values and judgments associated with it. We’re good people but system 2 thinking is tiring and we just can’t do it all the time.
Why does diversity matter at work? Personally, when we’re on a diverse team we tend to have higher personal and job satisfaction. Diverse teams are interesting and we often learn more. People who don’t feel like they’re the “only one” of something (gender, sexual orientation, race, introvert/extravert, etc.) relax, contribute more, and are more productive. And study after study shows that more diverse teams lead to better products and a better bottom line.
Companies with women on their boards have higher ROIs, more diverse companies tend to perform above average, and let’s face it – we don’t have enough STEM graduates to fill needed jobs if we don’t encourage a more diverse group of people to enter the field.
But we’re good people and we don’t make these snap judgments. We are rational and we always know why we made a decision. Or do we?
Optical illusions fool us all the time. Even knowing those lines are all the same length, did you have to measure them just to be sure? The same thing happens in our interactions with people. What’s the first thing that comes to mind for single parent, introvert, doctor, CEO, or programmer? That first thing hints at your categories – the categories built up by a lifetime of media saturation filled with type-cast actors.
Back to the science of bias. Let’s think about resumes. In one study, resumes were handed out to academics who were asked to rate the job candidates for competency, hireability, mentoring, and suggested salary. Some resumes were for John and some for Jennifer. Professors of all genders rated Jennifer 25% less competent and less likely to be hired. They rated John worth about $4000 more. When asked why they gave ratings their justifications sounded rational but…. 4 industry publications was awesome for John and 4 was just not enough for Jennifer. They are good people but they (we!) are at the mercy of their subconscious and years of societal conditioning.
We’re good people so what do we do?
Take the IATs – there are many, take at least a couple and understand your unexpected biases. Talk about this with others so we all become comfortable talking about our subtle biases. Work to consciously update your mental categories – seek out images and reminders of people who are different and successful. Now that you know your own categories a bit better, be more mindful about switching to system 2 thinking. Reach out to one person and mentor them. Spend time with someone who makes you uncomfortable. Pay attention to the “firsts” (the first autistic character on Sesame Street, the first black President, the first whatever) and see if that helps you update your mental categories.
Increase the pipeline. Participate in groups that help kids learn to code. Recruit beyond your normal network, post jobs on diversity sites, and consider non-traditional backgrounds. Join diverse groups that don’t match your own diversity.
Be careful with words. Is someone bossy or exhibiting leadership? Is someone aggressive or a go-getter? Are they emotional or passionate. You may be surprised how you assign different words for the same behavior in unexpected ways.
When you post a job, only list something as “required” if it truly is. Women for example tend to only apply if they meet almost all the requirements, men tend to apply if they meet a few. Do you really require Java experience or do you need a good coder who is willing to learn new things? Don’t ask for a specific type of leader, look for someone who can lead in any of many productive ways. Explicitly state that you value a diverse team. And beware of subtle stereotypes – words like best, rock star, action-oriented define a particular picture but may not represent what you’re really looking for.
When reviewing resumes, have HR take off names, cities, and years. Before you pick up a resume decide on your priorities – does experience or willingness to learn matter more for example? Look for people who fill gaps rather than trying to replicate people you already have. And remember, system 2 thinking is tiring so do this when you’re alert and can take the time to think about what you’re doing.
For the interviews, have a diverse group participate. Simply looking at picture of or talking about diverse people before starting interviews increases the chance you hire with diversity in mind. Don’t confuse either confidence or “geek cred” with competence. Keep an open mind about different ways of approaching problems – it’s the result that matters.
Many flowers make a beautiful bouquet – @IsisAnchalee
What is your personal pledge today?
Full slide deck is available at http://smallbitesofbigdata.com/archive/2015/10/26/moving-beyond-unconscious-bias-good-people-matter.aspx
“Always in motion is the future” – Yoda
On June 1 I will be moving into a new role on AzureCAT. I tried the small business consulting world with Neal Analytics and it just wasn’t a good fit for me and my passions. So here I go, on to new challenges at Microsoft! I’ll be making the world a better place with the help of Big Data.
And while I’m making changes, I’ll also be moving from Boise, ID to the Redmond, WA area. It’s new adventures all around for me. I’ll miss Boise – my friends, my political battles, the greenbelt and hiking trails, sitting on the patios downtown. And I’m also excited about all the new opportunities I’ll have in my new, blue state.
Bring it on world, I’m ready!
This year’s Boise Code Camp has an exciting new panel session: “Where are the Women in Technology?” We have a great lineup of women who will help us all understand why women in tech matter to your bottom line. The panel invites everyone of any gender to attend and learn more about how we can all help make our businesses more productive, our work culture more pleasant, and our employees and coworkers happier. The session is sponsored by “Girl Develop It! Boise”.
Saturday, March 21 at 140p at the BSU Special Events Center
How does it impact you and your business when women are underrepresented in your tech department? Women are interested, why aren’t they working in IT? Why is the number of women in IT decreasing? What can you personally do about it? Why should you care? We can all help make our businesses more productive, our work culture more pleasant, and our employees and coworkers happier. Sponsored by “Girl Develop It – Boise”.
We frequently hear how Idaho wants to be seen as a top tech destination. We want to attract new startups as well as existing businesses. Women are an untapped resource that can help make that happen. When women join boards and hold decision making positions in businesses, those businesses tend to outperform businesses with fewer women. Having a pipeline of women techies coming out of our local universities and a workforce with a high percentage of techie women can help attract high tech businesses. Tech businesses historically have a big focus on diverse workforces since over the years they’ve seen the benefits of having a multitude of perspectives when developing new products and services. Women are leading adopters of new products and services, it just makes sense to have women adding a female viewpoint to the decision making process as those products and services are chosen and built.
While tech businesses value women, they still see women exiting the field at much higher rates than men. Take game development as an example. Sexism, misogyny, and sexual harassment are worse in the areas of tech that traditionally are even more overwhelmingly male than most – like video game development. While nearly half of women who play games are women, many games are marketed with ads that emphasize women as sex objects and few games have female avatars to choose from. When female characters or avatars are present in a game they generally have a much more limited range of body types with an emphasis on highly sexualized looks. Again, that is usually attributed to the fact that most of the people who write and market games are men – they never even question what they are doing, it’s just accepted. There is an unproven assumption that women will play “boy games” but men won’t play “girl games”. Female gamers like panelist and IT veteran Jane Miceli are asked “are you really a girl?” when they play well and score high in an online game. When more women are hired into gaming companies/divisions the products change. More non-sexualized female characters appear. Games begin to have more layers to them, more ways of interacting. And then more people buy those games. That’s good for business.
When women are mentored, encouraged, and valued at work they help drive better business decisions.
Our panelists include three women representing a range of IT career stages. Kelsey Suyehira is a BSU senior with a math degree who has returned to school to get a degree in computer science. She is currently president of the Association for Computing Machinery Women’s group, a club that supports the recruitment and retention of women in computer science on campus. Suyehira is joined on the panel by Marianna Budnikova, a professional hacker at the locally owned MetaGeek. In addition to her passion for machine learning and genetic algorithms, which were the basis of her Master’s thesis, Budnikova loves to develop iOS and Android apps. Rounding out the techies on the panel is Jane Miceli. Miceli is a 15 year veteran of the IT industry and a SCRUM Master with a Master’s degree in computer science. She is an avid supporter of tech education and ongoing volunteering on the Idaho Technology Council’s Education Committee, Boise School District’s First Robotics Team 2122, the annual Boise Code Camp conference. Miceli is also managing director for Girls In Tech Boise. All three women show their leadership skills in the Boise chapter of Girl Develop It – a nonprofit that offers affordable technology classes to women through introductory classes such as Python, HTML, and Hadoop. These female tech leaders will talk about their personal experiences with being a woman in tech.
The panel is rounded out by two BSU gender studies lecturers. Carrie Semmelroth lectures on early and special education and gender topics at BSU. Semmelroth spends much of her time on data analysis in her department which gives her an interesting perspective on the intersection of gender and technology. Representative Melissa Wintrow is an educator, trainer, and leadership consultant who lectures on gender studies. Wintrow has been elected to represent District 19 in the Idaho legislature. Semmelroth and Wintrow will bring their perspectives as leaders and educators to help us understand how we can each have a positive impact at work.
Panel moderator Cindy Gross is a long time IT veteran with a passion for changing the way businesses do business, whether that’s through adoption of new technologies such as Hadoop or by increasing diversity in the workplace. Gross looks forward to a great hour of discussion on a range of Women in Tech topics that take us from a view of today’s reality to concrete, real-world actions that each of us can take to attract and retain more women in technology. The panel invites live tweeters to use the hashtag #BoiseWIT when discussing the session.
Hashtags: #STEM #WIT #PASSWIT #BoiseWIT @GirlDevelopIt #BoiseCodeCamp
Cross-posted (with slightly worse formatting) from https://befriendingdragons.com/2014/07/23/taking-flight-a-k-a-the-data-dragons-life-after-microsoft/
Life is a journey – we can choose to fly through it with our wings spread to catch and channel the winds, or we can let the winds pummel us to the ground. I choose to take flight, enjoy the journey, and land on my feet. Then take off again. Even when the flight happens because of an unexpected push from the nice, comfy nest, it’s possible to spread our wings and take off in the direction we choose. Especially when you’ve decided you’re a Data Dragon. Yes, that’s me. Cindy the Data Dragon.
What am I talking about? One of those life changing events that sneaks up on you sometimes.
Last Thursday I got a very unexpected call and I got to experience hearing the words “you’ve been laid off” for the first time ever. It was effective the same day, at least as far as job elimination. I am a Microsoft employee until September 15, my options are wide open after that.
I could choose to sit around and feel sorry for myself, ask countless “why me” and “why now” questions. What I did instead is remember that I am likely in a far better position than many of the other 13,000 people laid off the same day. And remember that now I don’t have to wonder and worry about the remaining Microsoft layoffs that are expected. And remember that this opens up many wonderful opportunities. And remember all the friends, co-workers, and customers who instantly offered support (thanks Sean, Terry, and Linda for the coffee followed by the much stronger drink and the rest of you for all the calls, emails, and IMs). And thank those same folks for the job leads, introductions, and recommendations on LinkedIn that immediately started pouring in – keep them coming! The Data Dragon chooses to concentrate on the good things, dive into making sense of things, and move on to new and better things. (Yes, Murshed, I again referred to myself in the 3rd person).
So now what?
I am going camping this week, I plan to make time for getting out of town again for a few days or weeks before the end of September (SLC ComicCon anyone?), and I am going to get my beautiful back yard back under control and add more colorful things growing in it. I am going to take my time finding the right Big Data job, not just any job.
Don’t stand in my way, the Data Dragon is taking flight and looking forward to all the wonderful things in my future!
I believe in justice. I believe in human rights. I believe gay rights are human rights. I believe the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment to the US Constitution guarantees “Equal Justice Under Law”. Idaho is keeping that justice from an entire group of people – those who are gay. Gay teens in Idaho are bullied into suicide. Gay teens and adults are denied jobs or promotions. Gay folks can’t take a picture of their partner to work. Straight employees can’t take pictures of their gay adult child and that child’s partner to work. People of all orientations avoid taking jobs in Idaho or refuse to bring their businesses here because they worry about their families. What do you believe in? What are you willing to do in support of those beliefs?
I am willing to fight for what is right, to fight for everyone of every sexual orientation and every gender identity. Last week I chose to be arrested, along with 45 other supporters, in support of the “Add the 4 Words” cause. The Republican Leadership in the Idaho legislature won’t even hold a hearing to listen to the stories of those who face discrimination for their real or perceived sexual orientation – and we all have a sexual orientation. We have lobbied legislative leadership, shared poll results showing a vast majority of Idahoans across the state believe firing someone just because they are gay is wrong, and told them our personal stories. Yet still leadership silences our voices, ignores their constituents, and refuses to hold a public hearing where their own constituents could testify. What do you believe in? What are you willing to do in support of those beliefs?
With the support of former Idaho Governor and former head of the Idaho Republican Party Phil Batt, in the 1960s Idaho added a Human Rights Act. We simply want to Add the Words “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to that existing act to tell Idahoans that gay folks get the same basic human rights as the rest of us. Former Governor Batt supports this modification to the act he helped create – he wants his gay grandson to feel safe while visiting Idaho. He calls the current legislature’s failure to act “disdain.” What do you believe in? What are you willing to do in support of those beliefs?
You can spend a few minutes or a few hours or a few days on an action – start as small as you want. Do one action or many. Just do something. Stand up for your beliefs, for the fact that all humans deserve basic dignity and respect and the freedom pursue their happiness. Start with any one of the items below. See how that feels. And come back for more when you’re ready. What do you believe in? What are you willing to do in support of those beliefs?
1) Tell Governor Otter your thoughts on Idaho’s reputation with regards to human rights, especially gay rights. This is even more important for those of you don’t live in Idaho. Would you visit Idaho? Would you start a business here? Would you bring your family here for a job? Give him a personal story.
2) Follow @AddTheWords and @AddThe4Words on Twitter. Now tweet why you support gay rights in Idaho and tag one or both of those accounts. Consider tagging Governor Otter, Senator Hill, your own legislators, or national folks who we may be able to engage in the cause.
3) Donate to Add the 4 Words to help cover the bail and fines of those standing up to be arrested.
5) Sign up to participate in in the next Add the 4 Words arrest action – you don’t have to be arrested, you can volunteer as an observer or supporter.
6) Contact your Idaho State Senator and two Idaho State Representatives plus Senator Brent Hill. Note that this is NOT the same as your US Senators (Crapo and Risch) and US Representatives (Labrador and Simpson). There are 35 districts in Idaho – there are many different legislators. I am happy to help you figure out who to contact (firstname.lastname@example.org).
7) Tell your friends why you believe Add the Words is the right thing to do.
8) Donate to the Add the Words documentary http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/add-the-words-a-documentary
9) Follow the Add the Words Blog http://addthewords.blogspot.com/. Offer to contribute a blog post or be interviewed for a blog post.
What do you believe in? What are you willing to do in support of those beliefs?